Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Found the puke drawer
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
