there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You were trust falling into bushes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
