She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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