"it" just moved
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
