Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
