dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize