So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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