Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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