i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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