he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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