You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Your dad touched me again.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
jump out the window naked night went bad
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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