PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I should be sponsored by Trojan
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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