First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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