okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
