I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
home. puking in laundry basket.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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