hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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