Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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