Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.