Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.