Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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