i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
