dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.