taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Dating After Heartbreak
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?