wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy