i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night