He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
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Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.