Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher