I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Hello my rib-scented angel!