That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children