Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.