Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
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hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome