Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.