Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, just got a bummer.

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  What??

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  A blow job from a homeless chick.

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  (502): Dude, just got a bummer. (1-502): What?? (502): A blow job from a homeless chick. http://tfl.nu/uf37
  Replies (27) Good night (784) Bad night (1768)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about

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  (620): I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about http://tfl.nu/33to
  Replies (23) Good night (668) Bad night (4384) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  The best revenge is premature balding

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  (603): The best revenge is premature balding http://tfl.nu/ugsl
  Replies (15) Good night (3742) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish

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  (828): Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish http://tfl.nu/vvox
  Replies (13) Good night (4244) Bad night (658) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.

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  (412): words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing. http://tfl.nu/a6am
  Replies (45) Good night (1248) Bad night (6722) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.

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  (845): They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids. http://tfl.nu/mgv1
  Replies (48) Good night (1346) Bad night (5434) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.

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  (816): she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL. http://tfl.nu/ostw
  Replies (16) Good night (6589) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.

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  (520): The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears. http://tfl.nu/pc9j
  Replies (11) Good night (2547) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Semen is not good for contacts.

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  (727): Semen is not good for contacts. http://tfl.nu/krg1
  Replies (10) Good night (975) Bad night (3126) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.

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  (269): I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax. http://tfl.nu/b5v2
  Replies (5) Good night (2475) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

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  (608): On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me.. http://tfl.nu/zeud
  Replies (1) Good night (1804) Bad night (527) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina

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  (920): Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina http://tfl.nu/ae28
  Replies (10) Good night (2766) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.

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  (478): Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy. http://tfl.nu/ujmz
  Replies (15) Good night (3248) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had

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  (304): 'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/8hwk
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (1534) Order T-Shirt
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.

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  (731): Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me. http://tfl.nu/smua
  Replies (4) Good night (1294) Bad night (228)

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