I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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