Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
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Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
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She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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