does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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