it wasn't lemon gatorade
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
