every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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