She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
