So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
