what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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