How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
