note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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