Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize