I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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