dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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