We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize