Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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