farters have to be the big spoon...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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