I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm just crazy horny about you
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize