SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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