I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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