Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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