Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
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i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
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He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize