I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
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You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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