we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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