Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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