If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
