I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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